Sunday, April 28, 2019

dream of walking through spider webs

Front Yard
Beitou
04/29/2019, 10:26pm

just as he is pulling the door closed, something calls out behind him. it is not overheard. something had intended for him to hear this noise, regardless of its foreign texture, regardless of being understood. he thinks, recalls, finds nothing, except, perhaps, a bird, or a ghost. the call was singular, and not unlike the sound of knocking. but it was not mechanic, not monotonous; he has heard, definitely, the inflections that suggest voice, yet strangely more hollow, like a bird, a ghost.


that night he has a dream of walking endlessly, through walls and walls, of spider webs. an indistinct location; a park at night, perhaps. a droning pace, his own feet, distant. unlike most dreams, he knows where he is going, even has a clue of how he'd gotten here. he is on his way home, on sunday. but this information, he knows, is secondary. it is simply there, as an option. he takes another step and a shadow flattens, as, and where, his foot lands. then he feels it, on his arm. it is too late, he has already moved past, and now the time trails behind him. each step involves him further in the silky, melting wires. the webs feel like a mixture of cloth, dust, and glue. he tries to wipe the strands from his forearms, but as he touches them, they mold to his skin. each new line becoming indistinguishable, accumulating, certain of its own precarious momentum. 

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

compositing

Zabu Coffee
Beitou, Taipei
04/14/2019, 6:52pm

last wednesday
they combined a bunch of telescopes
and photographed the black hole.
blurry is a word i would use.
i wonder if the aliens will find us

funny. i feel precarious
when smoking outside
so i put on sunglasses
and look at people for longer than usual.

i am walking backwards toward the entrance.
i trade life for living. i grow accustomed
to little bugs conducting their blood
exchange antennae, etch skinning

each choice upon waking eschews me
waking is tenuous but sometimes tender
so i make soup warm and measure the seasons
staidly, unsteady as they are.

in the mirror my face shapes itself symmetrical. later
a girl will say aah with her
mouth open. she's only posing
for a camera. her friend's. pointing.

i keep my sunglasses on.
"digest yourself"
says somebody loudly from inside
maybe it'd be nice

maybe one day i'll come to exist exclusively,
in blurred backgrounds of photographs
designed to capture somebody else's time.


Tuesday, April 16, 2019

the movies

Front Yard
Beitou, Taipei
04/16/2019, 6:47pm

the filmmakers
deserve more support and need
general caution. i try to avoid
watching movies with people in them
because they'll choose attractive ones
and when they kiss i'll think "gee i wonder
what it's like to be kissed like that" and spend
years in expectation.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

chocolate croissant

Home
Beitou, Taipei
3/23/2019, 10:31pm

when the oven dings i go to it
to pick up the chocolate croissant
because i am picking it up i am looking at the oven
and there is a face there, looking at something behind me
i notice this as i have already pivoted away, weight on my back foot
this makes it hard for me
to decide if i should stop 
to address the face in the oven, or if
i should continue what i was doing
eating this chocolate croissant.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

murmur

Zabu Coffee
Beitou, Taipei
2/6/2019, 5:17pm

i know the dream has started when
the window to my right begins
a data download
purple curtain
metallic negative
lucid lustrous flash
there is a shimmering inside!
a cloud, refusing to part.
& we are talking about our parts
in a play. we are learning the rules.
a game of settlement between scientists,
who say the colors are aberrations.
the magicians say they're memories
from a prior time.
-
sitting still ensues
looking occurs at length
hexagons emerge and merge in
perfect arabesques, slipping into
the stretch of my skin.
"all along this was here, too," i think.
-
further down along the couch
there is a round cat
i look at it jealously.
the fur pools out of shape.
i curl myself into the couch.
-
later, i'm behind the red, coiling fractals
pulled by that overzealous current
lonely as a child, i remember
being in the atom. a dream
concocted by the collective
desire to be simple yet transcendent;
both spiral and skyward.
-
the humans exhume
echoes. they look with
longing at each other,
making soft murmurs.

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

permutations

Room
Beitou, Taipei
1/29/2019, 10:07pm

window close
memorize sleep
close call
old smile
under tow
signal stop
block schedule
short nap
real plan
the talk
the talk 
late stay
time cut
cuts pile
spine arch
parch cup
triangle grin
view avoid
back ask
fill speak
somehow make
another pull
off trick
again try
hand disclose
new box
word invent
loose lip
arm twist
stream trust
sleep lose
dream rust

Thursday, January 24, 2019

three skies

13F
Beitou, Taipei
1/24/2019, 6:56pm

slow curtain, not actually
but slower
the end of my attention
is coming. attentive
to tactical amounts
of sleep doled
out for the week.
i will only ever do so much at once
because my life is fragmented by sleep
and i am selfish

.

the stars revealed themselves in enough time for it to be something honest
maybe the sun was pulling the curtain. i couldn't tell
that story was interrupted when i blinked
then the clouds were tricky and beautiful
i don't know why i assumed that
all the clouds were going to the same place, in a direction
i don't know why i assumed that
you can tell something by the way it moves
because this is a choreography of directions
that i cannot describe with a preposition
or even precisely without collapsing it
too flat and understated
too gradual of change
my eyes are addicted to seeing
my left eye is blurrier
so if i died from something coming toward me
it would probably be from my left

.

you won't keep my attention unless you're doing something
you won't change unless i close my eyes
you won't go until i do something else
you don't allow anticipation
you can't be from this world
you aren't appreciated enough
you shouldn't ever end
you weren't what you said before
you couldn't come again